The Truth Hurts

Funny...

I think of myself still looking so young and cute...

...until I see an actual photo of myself, and then have to face the reality of the Onward, Relentless March of Time (and photoaging!).

I still feel so young, both in body and attitude.

I’m definitely still young at heart!

*Sigh*

It hardly seems fair.

Just when I’ve started to get it together...

...I’ve no longer got it goin’ on!

(And what the hell is up with those white legs???  Somebody get out the bronzer, QUICK!!)

Damn.

I knew I should have quit smoking sooner!

Week Three and Smoke Free

It's hard to believe it's now 3 weeks since I've smoked, or will be by about 1:45 this afternoon.

In some ways, the time now lapsed seems interminably longer, and in some ways, incomprehensibly shorter.

I am STILL having cravings from time to time, some days more frequently than others.  I KNOW it's not really a physical urge anymore -- wasn't after 3 days, so I'm told -- but it damn sure FEELS physical when it's happening, and on the "bad" days, all I can do is grit my teeth and white knuckle my way through it nanosecond by nanosecond.

Hmmmm...  Sounds familiar to us alcoholics, doesn't it?  One day at a time, indeed.

I have SOOOO much more I want to share with all my faithful non-readers, but am going to keep this post short, as it is now 8:15 AM and already getting hot, Hot, HOT and I want to try going for a short run.

So, toodles for now -- more later!  (I know y'all can't wait!!)

P.S.  Mary Christine, summer may be on it's way out in Denver, but it's just crankin' up here in Hollywood, FL!

P.P.S My husband, The Engineer, whom I had to ask if nanosecond was one word, just informed me that a nanosecond is one-billionth of a second, to which I replied, "Well, then it's DEFINITELY the right word!"

Stealing a Moment

So, I am totally writing this while at work. I’m having to do it first in MS Word, at the bottom of a document we update daily, hoping that I won’t be caught by my bosses.

I feel a little guilty, but probably not guilty enough. Yeah, it’s wasting their time, i.e., their money so to speak; but on the other side of things, how many countless hours have I put in after hours and never asked for, nor expected compensation?

OK -- so I DO feel guilty.

However, we are very slow at the moment, and now that I'm only working 2 days a week (on the other Admin’s days off) about the only things I can do right now are to 1) follow up on a few items, which I WILL do, or 2) filing, which I am LOATH to do.

I'm glad to be at work now that I'm here. Gets me out of the house, and able to focus on something other than eating and obsessing about my weight.

Speaking of which, number on the scale was 2 pounds higher this morning than it was yesterday!!

And I ate hardly ANYTHING yesterday.

It’s hard not to get discouraged, but I really don’t want to give up the progress I’ve made with this effort to quit smoking, and I really do need to stay on the Hormone Replacement Therapy, which I just started this month.

At the end of this first month, my gynecologist is going to have me reduce my estrogen to half the dosage she now has me on. It’s delivered transdermally, via a gel I apply nightly, so the plan is for me to apply it only every other night after the first month is over.

I am also taking a progesterone supplement, but will only do that for the first 12 days of each month. I suspect that the sudden rapid weight gain over the last few days has something to do with having begun the latter this past Monday evening (I forgot to fill the prescription Sunday). If it is, toward the middle of the month, I should get rid of any excess fluid it's causing me to retain.

Of course, it may not BE just fluid retention.

So, I’m also going to start monitoring what I eat, and try to start eating more healthily.

And I also want to begin exercising some.

I know I need to start out slowly.

Little goals. Baby steps. Little by Little. Easy Does It.

Hard for an alcoholic to do.

Recovering or otherwise.