So, this morning, I'm sitting at the breakfast table after having just vomited, trying to force down a few bites of hard-boiled eggwhite.
Yep, this is my life these past few days. So stressed out that I toss my cookies before breakfast.
What am I stressed about? Honestly, I have no clue. Or, at least not much of one.
Lessee... There's the Christmas Extravaganza at church in which I'm singing a solo on Friday and Saturday nights... My mother-in-law is coming this morning at around 10:00 to stay with us for a week and I haven't hit a lick at a snake... Four days after she leaves, we're flying up to North Carolina for a visit with my folks for 10 days... Haven't even THOUGHT about Christmas shopping or putting up a tree or decorating the house... Or CARDS! I totally forgot about cards or a newsletter or anything, and a lot of people don't even know we've moved!... We have rats in the attic and R won't let me call an exterminator because HE wants to take care of it HIS way, and apparently, in HIS own sweet time... When am I going to have time to get a pedicure before Friday night?... We still haven't finished unpacking, and we've been here since AUGUST!... What are we going to do with Boots, while we're away for 10 days??... Why does Boots keep bringing in lizards, instead of hunting down those darn rats???
Anyway, back to the breakfast table.
I'm sitting there, willing the nausea to abate (to no avail), and the thought crosses my mind, You used to drink over stuff like this.
Another thought immediately follows: That sure as heck wouldn't help anything!
Okay, okay, I know this probably just seems like a normal conversation everyone has in their heads all the time.
But, this was a first for me! For the thought alcohol would only make things worse to come, unbidden, to mind—without my having to consciously think through how it would make things worse, and then convince myself that the short-term alleviation of stress is soooo not worth the long-term result of taking a drink again—is an absolute breakthrough for me!
And, I'm celebrating, by golly. Dove dark chocolate, here I come.
14 comments:
Don't forget to breath!
An absolutely lovely breakthrough!!!
Lovely post Boots!! It's funny how we have these "realizations" as way continue to stay sober! Yummie, chocolate... ;)
Jonathan
Congrats on the breakthrough. See what happens when you stick around a while?
glad to hear of your progress. all good! one of my sponsees discovered to her surprise that she was pregnant in early sobriety, could be completely irrelevant to your current situation for all i know, but i just thought id mention it in case the thought hadn't already crossed your mind.
ROFL!!! Oh, no, no, no... that is definitely NOT what's going on... better not be, anyway! I'm pretty much all the way through menopause, and at age 49, I DON'T think pregnancy is remotely a possibility.
I agree. I'm 52 and there's just NO WAY Im pregnant.
Great post. You're gonna be busy for a few days, so get busy with a plan.
Vomit, lizards and rats all in one post ... ain't sobriety grand?
:)
I hope you feel better soon. God knows you have enough to do!
hey! i like the way your thinking works!
Wowsa! Rats in the attic! That could be the title of a book or movie. That is really cool that your thinking is changing. REALLY COOL!!
Happy Wednesday ;)
What is up with Boots? Did you tell him he better do his job or else he is gonna get fired?
Geez girlie there is soooo much going on in your life. However I see that you are sparkling, and just cuz u r feeling blah does not mean you are not making progress. I hope that sentence came out clear, now I am confused.
Bottom line, Hive Five for your moment of clarity. We get lots of those in sobriety.
Love ya!
That's a step forward. Good for you.
...and you sing too! Is there no end to your talent? **swoons**
:-)
x
You've changed your life-script! People spend thousands on therapy to try and change their script and you've done it! It's so easy to repeat the same lines to ourselves over and over but you've swapped, 'I need a drink' for 'alcohol would only make things worse'. That's great!
Could you send a quick change of address email to friends you'd normally send a card to, and tell them that this year you're making a donation to charity instead of posting cards? That should save you a bit of time and benefit a worthy cause as well. Maybe if things are quieter in the new year you'll have time to write a newsletter then.
Grab time where you can - sounds as if you need a bit of space for yourself, my friend!
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