Why have the cravings come back so strong??? I'm now at 85 days and I keep jonesing for a drink.
Not a drink, as in any ol' slug of alcohol.
More like the drink.
The mojita that's the Cuban restaurant's house specialty (not a fan of rum, but it sounds so yummy!).
The Beaujolais Nouveau that the grocery store is handing out freakin' samples of, as I weave through the aisles in an attempt to avoid the end-cap wine displays (and BTW, whatever happened to no alcohol being sold on Sundays? at least then I had one day of "safe" shopping!).
This, too, shall pass. This, too, shall pass.
My new mantra. Catchy, no?
Got to get to a meeting tonight, even if it's not one I particularly like.
Too long in my own head: NOT a good thing. Isolating and avoiding: NOT a good thing. Yelling and cussing at my blogging peeps: NOT a good thing. Admitting I'm wrong and taking steps to correct it: a VERY good thing.
Oh, and P.S. Boots has his own blog now. Check it out.
11 comments:
I have found drinking to be really naff in recovery. I LOVE going to places where people are drinking as its SO easy to compete in those environments as drunk women nearly always look like kack! suits me fine! In the very best clubs in town, people very rarely get drunk. they only seem to get away with it in the 'cheap' bars. but the really cool 'members only' places just turf people out if they get blasted. quite right too! so you will have to take my word for it. drinking has a nasty habit of making even the most sophisticated looking supermodel look like a bumbling, groggy-eyed fool! this will all become clearer once you are able to go out to drinking places in recovery. Its always a bit of a shock to aa people! I used to like taking women to clubs after they came into recovery because it was not at all what they expected. it always makes me chuckle. now i find drunken company extremely dull. give me sober company anyday! anyway, i'm sure you'll figure this out in your own time..
keep coming back and all that..
Get thee to a meeting, ASAP!
IFOB: Huh??? Not really sure where you're coming from on that, but thanks.
MC: Thanks!! I DEFINITELY will!
I always admire people who can express their anger, I find it exhilarating. Why? Because for a long time I could not do it myself and all that negative energy turns inwards and repressed anger leads to depression.
To me, watching someone rant and rage is like watching a lightening storm - beautiful, frightening and exciting.
So you let off steam all you want - let go of your anger before it takes root inside and destroys your will-power. You can do it!
haha. well i think i was trying to explain how UNattractive and UNcool drinking can be perceived to be. As it sounded from your post that drinking still seemed like an attractive idea. thats all. obviously not explained as well as i thought it was! when i meet women who still find the thought of drinking attractive or alluring in some form, i usually have a conversation with them along those lines. obviously doesn't work quite so well when not in person! oh well. back to the drawing board...
i wasn't having a pop at you if thats what you were thinking by the way. my sponsees used to LOVE drink, but they have all pretty much arrived at the conclusion that its a bit naff. hard to explain, but after i drag them out clubbing they are very shocked at how sober everyone is! it'll all make sense once you've seen what the best clubs and such are like sober. well i hope so anyway!
DG: Hang in there. Only a few more days to 90! I've been enjoying your blog & your honesty. Don't you just want to kick those free sample people?
Irish Friend: Where are you? I need you to take me out clubbing. I'm sure I could have fun at a club without drinking, but I had no idea that the people there wouldn't be drunken fools spilling their alcohol on me. That's kind of a nice surprise. I miss going out - the end of my drinking didn't include much of that anyway.
Really? Your sponsees used to LOVE drink? Omigosh! What a quaint concept. And, here all along, I thought all us alkies drank because someone had put a gun to our heads! LOL :D
yeah you're right DG. i was stating the obvious, but not ALL my sponsees did love alcohol. for instance i saw it as a necessary medication, but i wouldn't say it was my best friend. others were total lushes and drank all day, morning till night. thats the type i was referring to when i say they LOVED alcohol. i have some sponsees that are very indifferent to alcohol despite having terrible expeiences when they were drinking. i've had others whose main loves were drugs, and drink was just an afterthought. i know it sounds like i'm stating the obvious, but people do have varying relationships with alcohol. thats what i've found anyway. the women i know who fall into the 24hr lush' category are the ones i speak of when i say they find drinking very naff these days. i think i'm probably just pissing you off now. which is not a problem. its unfortunately one of the disadvantages of this medium, that you draw your own inferences from the words written. oh well..
vicariousrising: Yes, I do want to kick them. All of them.
You've got the pumps for kicking, DG!
Emotions are running high with lots of peeps, myself included. The holidays don't help -- all the glamourizing and fun and revelry surrounding booze and parties -- all the family stuff -- all the pressure. They don't hand out wine samples at grocery stores where I live (THANK GOD) but there are wine displays everyfuckingwhere, and I feel like I'm frequently walking through a beehive trying not to get stung. The vigilance is exhausting sometimes. Blah blah blah, I'm rambling. All I really want to say is you're not alone, and the more meetings the better. Take care!
Lol, loved the post, and the comments, oh the comments were fabulous!
AIFB is from Ireland, no? Just a guess!
Different dialects can sometimes lead to confusion online. But it does make for some fun discussions and comments!
As far as the thought of a drink goes... I don't really ever fantasize about the taste or the glamour... I tend to go straight to the "I want to be tanked right now!" or "I'd like to drink that entire bottle of whiskey" thoughts... not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
Probably all the same.
Serenity now! This, to, shall pass. I am ok with me as I am.
Peace...
Post a Comment