WOW! Are those words ever true.
The Promises. Into Action.
They are coming true for me, and I'm nowhere NEAR halfway through!
Today, I have 9 and a half months sober and recovering, and I'm once again a productive, contributing member of society! Who knew?!
Last week, I heard from my sponsor about someone else in our Monday night meeting who needed a part-time receptionist, and by Friday, I'd talked to her about the position, updated and submitted my resume, interviewed, was offered and accepted the job! I started my new job this past Monday, and I LOVE it. I love having the structure in my life. I love feeling like I'm part of something and am able to contribute positively to a team effort. And I love saying things like, "I'll stop by the grocery store on the way home from work."
Life is good.
On top of this good news, my therapist (who is AWESOME) has made time in her schedule to see me on Saturday afternoons from now on.
Today:
- I'm connected to God (my Higher Power), and consciously make contact with Him every morning
- I have a JOB!
- I have a relationship with my husband, which is continuing to heal and grow
- I have friends inside and outside of the Program
- I have a closer relationship with my family
- I have the most amazing sponsor
- I have an awesome therapist
- I have peace and serenity which used to elude me
- I trust God with my future instead of needing to control it, or fear it
18 comments:
PJ Said:
On top of this good news, my therapist (who is AWESOME) has made time in her schedule to see me on Saturday afternoons from now on.
Micky Said:
Dear PJ,
Has you therapist processed her own history?
I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE.
Blogger PJ said...
I don't know why I'm even bothering to respond, but in answer to your accusations, suppositions, and questions, I HAVE gone back and rescued "Little PJ." It's been a huge part of my recovery, which I CANNOT and DO NOT try to pursue without the help and guidance of GOD, who indwells me with His HOLY SPIRIT.
Micky, no doubt, you are well-intentioned in your crusade against AA. But, you are also misguided not to allow people to find their own way to sobriety, through reconnecting, or connecting for the first time, with God, and allowing HIM to be the author and finisher of their faith, part of which is trusting HIM to lead them and walk beside them on this journey. And part of my journey has been the help I receive in the relationships I have with AA people, and in following the AA program.
Apart from Christ, I CAN DO NOTHING. It is only through surrendering to HIM that I've been able to get sober, enter recovery, and begin healing.
Greetings PJ,
If you have rescued “little PJ”, why are you still allowing yourself to be BRAINWASHED with BUCHMANISAM (12 Steps)? How can you surrender to CHRIST, when you are not studying His word (BIBLE) & attending a SATANIC CULT (AA).
The BIG BOOK is also SATANIC - no mention of JESUS CHRIST?
I have no problem with you connecting with GOD (through the saving GRACE of our Lord & Saviour, Jesus Christ), but the only god you will find in AA is SATAN, who can appear as an “angel of light”?
Do you believe that JESUS CHRIST died on a cross for your sins, P? You are not an “alcoholic/addict”, but a SINNER, just like me.
You are trying to control your process, PJ! You are being deluded, PJ – I should know, the 12 Steps (AA) nearly sent me insane. It was only through the SAVING GRACE of our LORD & SAVIOUR, JESUS CHRIST, that I was delivered.
But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.
—2 Corinthians 11:3
I love (agape) you, PJ!
I, MICKY, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD.
*Sigh*
Some, indeed, are sicker than others.
PJ said...
*Sigh*
Micky Said:
Dearest PJ,
Your RAGING over your FEAR, PAIN & SHAME, PJ!
Most Steppers are RAGE-A-HOLICS & CONTROL FREAKS - TERRIFIED "little kids".
Do you love me, PJ?
I, MICKY, AM THE TRUTH & BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS THE LORD.
Dearest PJ,
There is absolutely no scientific foundation to the notion that some people have an allergy to alcohol.
An allergy (more properly speaking – hypersensitivity) is a well-defined medical condition where the body produces antibodies in response to an antigen.
A detailed description can be found in wikipedia.en.wikipedia.org
No scientific researcher has ever found any human who produces antibodies in response to alcohol.
I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE.
Congratulations on your new job! And congratulations on getting spammed by Mickey, he only attacks those whose sobriety threatens him!
Dearest PJ,
For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of man also shall be ashamed of him, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. (MARK 8: 38).
Do you love me, PJ?
I, MICKY, AM THE TRUTH & BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS THE LORD.
Dearest PJ,
Description:
EFTCoaa is a group committed to deprogramming from AA's cult doctrines. It is not our business nor is it our mission to determine for our members how they should handle alcohol in their personal lives.
Some people wish to abstain, while others choose to moderate. This is not an alcoholism recovery group. What we agree on is that we DO wish to be free of AA Stepism.
What IS our mission is to help individuals, who have been harmed by AA and see it as a cult, to deprogram themselves from it's destructive thinking.
The wounds that cults leave behind are deep and lasting, and it is our hope that EFTCoaa will be a place to demystify and de-sanctify 12 step rhetoric that stays in the thought processes long after a person has left the AA cult.
We promote personal empowerment rather than powerlessness; freethinking rather than rigid non-thinking obedience; choice rather than fear and terrorizing; and freedom to live ones life as one sees fit.
There are 2 things we do not tolerate and will ban members for: proselytizing for AA and abusive personal attacks on members. This place is to be a safe haven for many minds with many ideas. The whole point is to regain our individuality. We are not professionals.
We encourage those who need medical attention to seek it, and maintain links to other groups for support of abstinence such as Rational Recovery, S.O.S., SMART etc.
DARE TO ASK YOURSELF 7 QUESTIONS:
1. Do you feel that A.A. is NOT the only road to Sobriety?
2. Do you take issue with being chided for questioning the “Program”?
3. Are you troubled by AA's Religious foundation?
4. Have you been greatly harmed by AA?
5. Do you ever wonder if AA is a cult?
6. Do you question being told that you cannot be angry?
7. Have you been forced to admit powerlessness over your life in a way that empowers other members while it diminishes you?
If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, EFTCoaa just might be a YAHOO group for you.
I, MICKY, AM THE LORD'S LIGHT & SALVATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE.
Greetings PJ,
Oxford group soul surgery techniques called for augmentation of guilt leading to the conversion experience.
The alcoholics had learned, through their own conversion, a different method, augmentation of fear with an initial diminution of guilt.
“It’s not your fault it’s a disease. There is nothing you can do about it. You’ll die unless you believe.” When a person was properly convinced & reached a point of proper desperation, guilt was then applied to bring about conversion of God control.
These new groupers [Steppers] were motivated not primarily by guilt, but by fear. The other groupers [Steppers] being god controlled through guilt would use guilt to manipulate others.
I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE.
Hi PJ,
Congrats on your new job! It's great to see someone who is putting one foot in front of the other.
Greetings Pj,
ASH WEDNESDAY:
The Wednesday after Quinquagesima Sunday, which is the first day of the Lenten fast.
The name dies cinerum (day of ashes) which it bears in the Roman Missal is found in the earliest existing copies of the Gregorian Sacramentary and probably dates from at least the eighth century.
On this day all the faithful according to ancient custom are exhorted to approach the altar before the beginning of Mass, and there the priest, dipping his thumb into ashes previously blessed, marks the forehead -- or in case of clerics upon the place of the tonsure -- of each the sign of the cross, saying the words: "Remember man that thou art dust and unto dust thou shalt return."
The ashes used in this ceremony are made by burning the remains of the palms blessed on the Palm Sunday of the previous year. In the blessing of the ashes four prayers are used, all of them ancient. The ashes are sprinkled with holy water and fumigated with incense.
The celebrant himself, be he bishop or cardinal, receives, either standing or seated, the ashes from some other priest, usually the highest in dignity of those present.
In earlier ages a penitential procession often followed the rite of the distribution of the ashes, but this is not now prescribed.
I, MICKY, AM THE TRUTH & BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS THE LORD.
Dearest PJ,
BOB SMITH'S FUNERAL ORATION OVER THE DEAD BODY OF WILSON:
Friends, Romans, Steppers, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Wilson, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Wilson. The noble Micky
Hath told you Wilson was psychotic:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Wilson answer'd it.
Here, under leave of Micky and the rest -
For Micky is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men - Come I to speak in Wilson's funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Micky says he was a 13th STEPPER;
And Micky is an honourable man.
He hath brought many STEPPERS home to AA
Whose stories, did the Church Halls fill:
Did this in Wilson seem ambitious?
When that the STEPPERS have cried, Wilson had a cigarette:
Emphysema should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Micky says he was a psychopath;
And Micky is an honourable man.
You all did see that at the AA Convention
I thrice presented him an AA medallion,
Which his HIGHER POWER thrice refused: was this HOW IT WORKS?
Yet Micky says he was a manic – depressive scam artist, who talked to dead people;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Micky spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to laugh at him?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And the 12 STEPS have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My BIG BOOK is in the coffin there with WILSON,
And I must pause till I can borrow another one.
I, MICKY,AM THE TRUTH & BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS THE LORD.
PJ, you are truly a miracle. I've been fortunate to be able to watch it (in print here) over the past year or more. You shall help others acheive sobriety daily.
WOW, i don't know why I have not been by here in so long! I think I must have gotten out of the habit when you were in re-hab.
You sound so positive and FULL TO THE BRIM with HOPE.
I'm so happy you have found some true serenity in your life darlin.
Take Excellent care of yourself.
Way to go DG!
AA AND RAPE
www.morerevealed.com/library/rfhorror/rfhorror2.jsp
www.peele.net/lib/twelve.html
www.geocities.com/drugsandalcoholinfo/webpagesandpapers/insideaawebpagewebpage.htm
www.unhooked.com/booktalk/12_step_horror_stories.htm
www.morerevealed.com/library/rfhorror/rfhorrorintro.jsp
http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/book/lookupid?key=olbp38901
"Thirteenth-stepping" is a euphemistic term used among members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) to refer to people (particularly men) who target new, more vulnerable members (typically women) for dates or sex.
Previous research suggests that women frequently experience sexual harassment in AA meetings and even in chemical dependency treatment settings. The objective of this survey study is to describe the frequency of various 13th-stepping experiences in a sample of women involved in AA.
Fifty-five women, aged 17-72 years, completed an anonymous survey to describe their experiences with 13th-stepping by men in AA.
Results showed that at least 50% of the participants had at least occasionally experienced seven of the thirteen 13th-stepping behaviors listed in the survey.
Also, compared to women who had never attended a female-only AA group, women who had attended such groups reported more 13th-stepping experiences from their attendance at coed groups.
Two of the study participants volunteered that men they met in AA had raped them., It is important that chemical dependency treatment providers be aware of 13th-stepping in AA, particularly when treating women.
Especially vulnerable women, such as those with histories of sexual abuse. When women's groups are unavailable, women should be adequately prepared to protect themselves from 13th-Stepping.
I, MICKY, AM THE TRUTH & BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS THE LORD.
AA AND SEXUAL ABUSE
AA acts on rising reports of attacks by volunteers
Gerard Seenan
Guardian
Wednesday July 5, 2000
Vulnerable alcoholics seeking help for their addiction are being subjected to sexual and other abuse at the hands of long-serving volunteers from the world's largest alcohol support group.
An internal memorandum circulated to every Alcoholics Anonymous group in the country reveals that volunteer members are increasingly being investigated by police forces examining allegations of sexual abuse.
It is impossible to quantify the allegations since AA is committed to anonymity and will not be drawn on any aspect of its work. But the document makes it clear the group's general service board has known of the problem for some time and feels it must be tackled at a national level.
According to the memo, leaked to the Glasgow-based Herald newspaper, within AA "there is a small minority of men and women who operate with sick but hidden agendas, and, no matter what they may say, they seek self-gratification often at the expense of other members or potential members".
Public exposure of the memo is embarrassing to AA, but the document itself was being interpreted yesterday as an attempt by the group to confront the ills which have long dogged other voluntary organizations.
A senior alcohol addiction worker said: "It came as a bit of a shock to me and I have never picked up on these allegations before. AA [is] in a difficult position: we all put checks and balances in place, but it is very difficult to protect people entirely from abuse of position because the people involved are invariably clever."
It is understood the chair of AA's York-based general services board drafted the memo after being made aware of the rising number of police investigations.
It was issued as a consultation document to autonomous groups across the country and the board is hoping to find new ways of framing guidance to prevent further abuse.
Abusers within the organization are said to have exploited their positions as "sponsors", taking advantage of the vulnerable when they are at their lowest ebb.
Contact is usually made through telephone helplines and then continued in the home.
AA has guidelines governing who is eligible to become a sponsor or answer helplines and make home visits.
But the memo reveals these have been broken, with some taking on the role with neither the appropriate experience nor duration of sobriety. The document says: "There appears to be a growing number of cases around the country of police (and other agency involvement) in allegations of unlawful sexual conduct by AA members."
It warns that the organization has the "potential to become a breeding ground for predatory behaviour".
Although AA holds its creed of anonymity sacrosanct, there is admission of a general acknowledgment of abuse within AA, and that the organization will be unable to duck exposure of such abuse. The organization says it will not protect members from the law.
A spokeswoman for AA yesterday confirmed the leaked document was genuine, but refused to comment further.
I, MICKY, AM THE LIGHT & SALVATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE.
CULT OF NECROPHILIA:
by Devin Sexson
Alcoholics Anonymous is a "cult of necrophilia." I am not saying here that there is some kind of bizarre sexual ritual involving dead bodies in AA meetings. What this means is that there is a fascination with death. The cult revolves around death. I remember when I went to AA I would here the common statement, something to the effect of, "I felt terrible earlier today, then I went to a meeting and now I feel just great!"
I wondered why I never felt great after a meeting. Meetings usually had no effect on me but often I found them down right creepy. Why? Because I am not a necrophiliac, I don't get off on sitting around talking about how we will die of alcoholism if we don't ingest this religious crap.
But the creepiness goes a little deeper than that. In order for the cult to function some members must die from alcoholism. Those members who "cannot or will not" resign themselves to the religio-fascist structure of the cult can only be of value to the cult if they are:
1. Constantly relapsing.
2. Dead.
Consider these examples:
All of us in A.A. know the tremendous happiness that is in our sobriety, but there are also tragedies. My sponsor, Jackie, was one of these. He brought in many of our original members, yet he himself could not make it and died of alcoholism.
-- The Big Book, 3rd Edition, page 239.
After being dry two weeks and sticking close to Jackie, all of a sudden I found I had become the sponsor of my sponsor, for he was suddenly taken drunk. I was startled to learn that he had only been off the booze for a month or so himself when he brought me the message!
-- The Big Book, 3rd Edition, page 245.
The Boston group provided us with a fresh wonder and a big heartbreak, too. Its founder could never get sober himself and he finally died of alcoholism. Paddy was just too sick to make it. Slip followed slip, but he came back each time to carry A.A.'s message, at which he was amazingly successful. Time after time the group nursed him back to life. Then came the last bender, and that was it. This very sick man left behind him a great group and a triple-A rating for valor. His first two successes, Bert C. and Jennie B., carry on to this day.
-- Alcoholics Anonymous Comes Of Age, William G. Wilson, page 96.
AA was already established in South Africa when Marty arrived, with a ready pool of interested and willing citizens. It had been started in that country by a relapsing alcoholic, "Johnny Appleseed." He was a gifted businessman and highly successful proponent of AA, but he could not stay sober. Regardless, wherever he traveled and got drunk and sobered up, he left literature about AA.
-- A Biography of Mrs. Marty Mann: The First Lady of Alcoholics Anonymous, Sally Brown and David R. Brown, page 224.
What is wrong with this picture? Why are these men sacrificing their own lives for the good of the cult? These are clear, unmistakable examples of how the cult values conversion more than sobriety, and more than the life and well-being of the individual.
I, MICKY, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD
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