I would say I cannot believe how long it's been since I posted, but I am well aware. I just never seem to have a good chunk of time to devote to blogging any more.
Just by way of update, for the faithful few who check back from time to time, I am coming up on my 2 year anniversary next month! Now, THAT seems unbelievable! I continue to do about 3 to 4 meetings a week, including a Celebrate Recovery program I've become involved in at our church. We're actually still in the leadership training phase, so I'm learning by doing, and feel extremely blessed to be a part of something I feel has been missing from the church for far too long.
I remember all too well the shame, despair, condemnation (real or imagined) and hopelessness I felt as a woman active in ministry who struggled with alcoholism. I felt like a hypocrite, and the end result was that I abandoned my faith in God, and it wasn't until I finally made it into the rooms of AA and then into treatment that I realized that He had not abandoned me, that in fact, it was the other way around.
If I can help one person in a similar situation, before they abandon hope completely, it will be well worth everything I went through to be at the place in my recovery and spirituality I am today.
Not that I'm any spiritual giant, mind you. I know I could slip and fall as easily as the next person, so I certainly don't want to be on any pedestal. I think the major difference today is that I know it's okay NOT to be some super saint to be of help to others, that it's really better for me to be real and honest and to admit my failings, missteps and character defects. If I'm real, complete with all my faults, it's much easier for someone who is struggling to relate to me and open up.
Today, that's my prayer. That for today, I will seek guidance from my Higher Power, that I will be honest and compassionate toward myself first, and being flawed but forgiven and pressing forward, I will be honest and compassionate toward others, and that I will see them through His eyes -- that I'll see some essence of God in everyone I meet, no matter how small.
We can't keep what we have if we don't give it away. I'm so grateful for the opportunities my HP is giving me to do that.
1 comment:
Your prayer for the day is one I have to pray a lot as well, though of course not the same words. Two years coming up-all I can say is congratulations!
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