15 Days, No Cigs

I'm still a little down, but better. I haven't smoked since July 15th (2 weeks today - yay me!).  I'm still hit by an intense craving and longing from time to time, but I'm dealing with it.

I'm trying to approach quitting smoking like what it is - another aspect of my ongong Recovery, so when a craving strikes, I try to figure out what's really going on:  Is what I'm experiencing actually a physical need for nicotine, or is it an emotional response that's triggering the desire to smoke?  Is the response more of an habitual reaction correlated to the time of day, the activity in which I'm currently involved or have just completed? Etc., etc., ad nauseum.  Once I've identified the source of the trigger, I remind myself that the physical craving will pass within 3 minutes, and then I try to focus on how bad I used to smell, how bad for my health and skin smoking is, how I used to burn my clothes, my car's seats and carpet, etc.  Finally, I tell myself it's JUST NOT AN OPTION, that I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE.

Works like a charm.

What I'm NOT dealing so well with is not having some alternative way to release the negative energy and stress, which is probably a contributing factor with the depression.  Duh.  (Should have had a plan for that BEFORE I decided to quit!)

And I've gained 2 pounds. I'm eating emotionally and eating the wrong things. I crave sweets and salty stuff, often in combination.

Roy was incredulous this weekend at how much I ate.  At one point, he asked me, "Are you STILL hungry???"  To which I replied, "I'm ALWAYS hungry.  I just used to smoke instead of eat."

I'm not going to worry about or deal with the weight gain right now. As long as it's no more than 6 pounds, I'll be able to get it back off within a month when I AM ready to deal with it.

And it's not like I'm fat, or that I have to worry about being unattractive to Roy.  He's not attracted to me NOW, and I'm damn HOT!

On a (slightly) different topic, I'm incoporating the few posts I haven't yet from my smoking cessation blog into this one, and just have the one blog dealing with both issues.  Since quitting smoking is just the next step (for me) in my Recovery, it makes more sense to have one blog, rather than 2 blogs dealing with similar issues, or 2 aspects of the same issue.

Or whatever.  Too much time, too much energy, too much waste.

Not like anybody's reading either blog anyway these days.

*Sigh*

Poor me, poor me . . .

Pour me a super-size double-chocolate fudge peanut butter milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry on top!