Monday, October 24, 2005

They Shoot Chipmunks, Don't They?

This is not a menopause or sobriety post. This is a I'm-so-freaked-out-because-my-adorable-little-cat-keeps-bringing-in-adorable-little-chipmunks-and-maiming-them post.

Seriously. I don't know what to do. Someone suggested I put the panel back in the pet door so that when he tries to come in, I'll hear him and I can go look to see if he's got a chipmunk and not let him if he does. That's great, except - what if I'm in the shower, or on the phone, or in the bathroom? I don't want him to get the idea that when he's outside, home is not the place he can always return to. I've worked hard to make him feel that this is his safe place, and I don't want to start deterring him from coming home.

On the other hand, I don't know how many more chipmunks with paralyzed back legs (I'm guessing a broken spine) I can take, or worse (for us, anyway) not finding one until it a) dies behind a wall and starts stinking, or b) has a litter in my pantry.

And, as much as I think chipmunks are second only to bunnies in the cute rodent category, they ARE rodents (I don't really count bunnies as rodents, but I guess they really are when it comes to poop pellets and babies and cat-appeal).

There's also the whole issue of letting Boots know I appreciate his hunting prowess, while attempting to discourage his bringing me his trophies. I don't want to punish him for being a cat, but according to my latest calculations, he has bagged the following: a baby rabbit, a baby bird, a humming bird, a gazillion butterflies, cicadas, and grasshoppers, and at least 5 chipmunks. Oh, and earthworms. Apparently, he's taking the early bird metaphor literally.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Taking the Plunge

Well, I did it. I finally got up my nerve to go to AA. Or, rather, things finally got so bad that I finally realized I can't do this sobriety thing by myself, which is one reason I keep screwing it up.

I was pleasantly amazed. I felt very welcome, and very much like I had plenty in common with the others at the meeting. It was a closed discussion, women only, meeting in a church. There were only 8 or 9 of us. I even shared part of my story, which if you knew me, you'd know how huge that is. I'm painfully shy in groups where everyone is a stranger, and the situation is frighteningly new to me. I always feel that I'm going to be judged. Tonight, I didn't feel that I was being judged at all. Just accepted for who I am, in my current place on the journey toward sobriety.

I'm actually looking forward to going back.