Thursday, July 09, 2009

Still Here . . . Still Sober!

Seems like I never have time to blog any more. I don't really have time now. I'm stealing a few minutes while at work 'cuz I just need to let y'all know I'm still alive and kickin'!

Recently, I've gotten very involved in Celebrate Recovery, a movement which began in a mega-church out in California. It's really good, and I'm on the ministry team, facilitating the women's small group. It's a chance to serve and to give back what I've so freely been given.

But, it's not AA, and it's not enough for me and my life in recovery. That's according to me, my therapist, and my sponsor. I definitely need a balance. I need worship, prayer and fellowship with others who believe as I do, and I'm so grateful that the Church as a whole has finally seen the need to offer hope to those struggling with addiction to alcohol and other substances and behaviors.

But, I also need the fellowship, accountability and encouragement that only those who have lurched and stumbled along the same path can give. If faith alone were enough to keep me sober, I wouldn't have struggled so long with my inability to overcome my addiction. Those who are not alcoholics and addicts cannot fully understand why we are the way we are. I have to be around other alcoholics on a consistent and frequent basis to maintain and grow in my sobriety.

I'm glad I don't have to choose between the two, that they are not at odds. I am so thankful that the rooms of AA provided a safe haven in which I found true friends, and that those friends were instrumental in my seeking help at a treatment center, where paradoxically, I found the faith I had thought I'd lost forever.

God works in mysterious way His wonders to perform.

For me, the secret is staying in the center of what works for me, the center of His will. I don't do it consistently or perfectly, but I am endeavoring for a consistent, constant awareness of His presence in me, that I might experience His peace and hope, and be able to share that with other alcoholics.

It's a process, not an event; a journey, not a destination. I pray for endurance and stamina, that I may finish well.