Well, I did it. I finally got up my nerve to go to AA. Or, rather, things finally got so bad that I finally realized I can't do this sobriety thing by myself, which is one reason I keep screwing it up.
I was pleasantly amazed. I felt very welcome, and very much like I had plenty in common with the others at the meeting. It was a closed discussion, women only, meeting in a church. There were only 8 or 9 of us. I even shared part of my story, which if you knew me, you'd know how huge that is. I'm painfully shy in groups where everyone is a stranger, and the situation is frighteningly new to me. I always feel that I'm going to be judged. Tonight, I didn't feel that I was being judged at all. Just accepted for who I am, in my current place on the journey toward sobriety.
I'm actually looking forward to going back.
4 comments:
Congrats on taking such a big step.
It must take a lot of guts to show up at a meeting of strangers and talk about intimate parts of your life. You should be very proud of yourself! Support in your recovery will come from the least expected places; you're doing fine.
You have such a beautiful blog; it looks so familiar to me; wherever did you get it??????LOL
Great news, I'm so glad you are finding support. Its just a case of getting over the first hurdle and finding what works for you? Keep posting, would love to hear how your next meeting goes? A big step, brilliant! :-)
Thank you, both!!!
RSG: Gee . . . I can't remember where I got it. Whoever did it sure is freaking talented, though! BTW, I LOVE your puppy and I'd love to make a template with her pic! If you have one in mind, send it to me.
Grace: I went to another meeting on Tuesday, and one on Thursday, but definitely liked the one on Monday better. I'm going back tonight (12 days OTW, so far!). The other thing that's helping is being able to talk to my husband more openly. He's really supporting me in going to the meetings, and I can talk to him about what I'm struggling with. Before, I couldn't, so it's a major hurdle, too. I'd like to start meeting with a therapist to get to more of the core issues and how to resolve my feelings and how to start learning positive, effective coping mechanisms instead of drinking, but right now, this is about what I can handle.
I HATE being an alcoholic and I HATE knowing I can never be a moderate or social drinker or enjoy another glass of wine or cold beer or pretty pink cocktail, but I'm also realizng that for me, that's the reality, and I like my life better when I'm sober, even if I don't like me better (yet).
There is one thing that everyone in AA has in common. All of us were unable to quit drinking, and most importantly - be happy about it, alone.
Congrats going to a meeting is a huge first step!
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