Down Time

I hate being depressed.

It's nothing new. I know it will pass.

It's just that right now - while in the midst of the depression - I am overwhelmed by the sadness, the loneliness, the sense of apathy and hopelessness, and by the fatigue and exhaustion.

I want to smoke.

I want to sleep.

I want to just stop.

To stop feeling this.

To stop feeling at all.

To stop being.

I just want it to end.