Running To Nowhere

I'm tired. Slept until 3:30 PM. I know it's part depression, part exhaustion, too much running, not enough healing in between workouts, etc.

When I awoke, I had a voice message from the HR person of the company I've now interviewed with twice for different positions. She said they had just posted another 30 hour position and I should apply for it right away.

Really?

So I can go through all the stress of the application process itself, having to explain in detail my 2 DUIs, the last of which occurred 20 years ago (oh, yes; they ask and tell you not to leave anything out!), then wait to hear if I get an interview, and then go through the stress of the interview itself, followed by the interminable waiting afterward until I hear (or don't) that they've hired someone else for it?

I'm tired and depressed. I know I should call the HR person before 5 PM and thank her effusively for the information and opportunity.

But I'm exhausted emotionally and physically.  My meds have run out and I don't have a refill, and haven't found a shrink here yet (laziness and inertia again) to get a new script for my antidepressants. I'm out of cigarettes, and I don't know if I have enough strength mentally and/or physically to go for an endorphin producing run.

I feel like I'm on a hamster wheel.

And I just want them to stop the damn thing so I can get off it.