Thursday, August 17, 2006

Epiphanies

It seems that I just keep having those little Aha! moments. Not huge ones. Maybe not true epiphanies. Just small realizations that make a huge difference in my perceptions.

The Big Move to Southern Florida occurs this weekend. Yesterday, as we were packing things in the kitchen, my husband began wrapping the wineglasses and putting them in one of those boxes with the separate spaces for each stem.

"Honey," I asked, "Is there any reason for us to keep those?"

He looked down at the one he was holding.

"What do you mean?"

"Well... if we're never going to drink wine again, do we want to keep them?"

In the end, we compromised and kept a few, but I realized I would have been perfectly okay with getting rid of ALL of them (happier, in fact, than I am keeping a few).

In the past, I wouldn't have said anything... just, hurried and packed them myself before he had a chance to think through things, because in the back of my mind, I would have been thinking, "Someday, I might be able to drink just a glass of wine now and then."

For the first time, I thought about the possibility of not drinking for the rest of my life, and it actually seemed reasonable, and I didn't have that little niggle at the back of my mind saying, "You're not really a true alcoholic. One day, you'll conquer this problem and be able to drink normally."

Maybe Chapter 3 of the Big Book is finally starting to sink in, or maybe I'm starting to accept the truth about what being an alcoholic is and means.

Who knows. All I know is, the thought of not drinking for the rest of my life didn't freak me out or make me depressed for the first time EVER. I know that could change, and probably will from time to time, but for now, it's very cool.

Temporary Hiatus

This may be the last time I'm online until sometime next week (because of the Big Move), so please keep me in your prayers.

Oh, and if anyone knows of some good meetings in Dania Beach, FL, PLEASE leave a comment, or send me an email (you can get the address from my Blogger profile).

See y'all soon in the Sunshine State!

9 comments:

Anonypus said...

Someone in a meeting once shared, We not only have a drinking problem, but a thinking problem.

One book that has been extreemly helpful in my journey through the steps is A Woman's Way Through the Twelve Steps by Stephanie Covington.

Good Luck on your move!

Trudging said...

I am glad you are talking about drinking or rather not drinking. Good luck with the move!

dAAve said...

I heara you. I find that water, regular old water, works just fine in lieu of beer or any other alcohol.

Good luck with the move.

Carly said...

It's Saturday which means you're en route -- I'm thinking of you and sending good energy. Getting rid of some of your wine glasses is great progress! I kept a few of mine because I like drinking water out of them, but it took me a couple months to get rid of my corkscrew. THAT was a big deal.

So is getting to a point where you can imagining a life without alcohol -- without panicking!

In my better moments, I can imagine and am OK. But I'm still a one day at a time gal. Not drinking forever is too much to grok. But today? Today is doable.

You are doing good and I'm sure you'll find good meetings in FL. Hugs to you!

Gooey Munster said...

Recently I was given some wine glasses from my sweetheat's mom. She kindly asked me if I wanted them -- I said yes, and so far used them to pour water or Diet 7-Up in them with a romantic dinner with Mitch.

You see, I have redefined the use of them. Sure they were meant for wine, but I have given them a different purpose, and enjoy the elegance of them holding my favorite drink -- Diet 7-Up or H20.

Good luck with your move, you have shared some wonderful things here. I really enjoy reading your experiences and learning about your journey.

admin said...

Nothing like a little drinky to help you unwind. I prefer wine.

Unknown said...

It is strange sometimes when you think of it. If I catch myself in that thinking I go all the way through to my last drunk. That keeps me upfront.

This is my first time here~ hooray!

Gwen

Unknown said...

I breakthrough indeed. Little spiritual aawakenings is what I call 'em.

God bless.

Tiffanie said...

My first thought was to remind you to not look down the road, but rather,

one day at a time.