I'm talking women (and men) with years of sobriety behind them, folks.
Last night, at the awesome women's meeting I found that my HP took me to last week, we had a speaker with an amazing story. She'd been sober for 20 years, and then, after becoming irritated with some people in her home group, quit going to meetings at all (she'd already pared down to one meeting a week). Her girlhood best friend moved back to town and they started hanging out together again (the friend, of course, is a drinker), and she started thinking that maybe she could just have a Corona with a wedge of lime every now and then, and... well, you get the picture.
Long story.
Short version: She ended up in the hospital on August 5th, and has about 6 weeks of sobriety now.
I sat there, amazed at her courage in sharing this story, and so grateful that she realized her need to get back into fellowship with others who share her struggle against this cunning, baffling, powerful disease.
I had years of sobriety behind me before I started drinking again eight years ago. This time, it's been so much harder to get and stay sober. I'm only looking at 10 days right now since my last drink. I want to do this. I want to succeed. If it means staying in the program for the rest of my life... well, if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes, and that's what I need to do.
One day at a time.
One day at a time.
Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power. That One is God. May you find Him now!Alcoholics Anonymus, pp. 58-59
6 comments:
Tab's right, you are sounding like you're on more solid ground. I can hear the willingness and wanting it in your posts. I have no experience with relapse, and have vowed to myself to learn from those who have gone before me. YOU are one those women, DG! You have a lot to share and I love learning from you. Keep sharing! And congrats again on finding a sponsor right away! HUGS!
Its amazing that our disease can continually make us think we can handle it again....no matter how terrible our bottom was, after sometimes, if we aren't vigilant, it just rears it's ugly head and whispers in our ear..."You can have just that one drink.." I know when I'm hearing those voices that I should be going to a meeting. I can never safely drink again.
Yep, I know that just one drink thing.
I know you're struggling, & that is a hard thing. It really is a one day at time thing. I've relapsed several times, & looking back, I think I just had to be done. That was when I became open minded & got into the AA & the fellowship. Also finding the right sponsor made a big difference for me. It's the whole deal for me. Having a sponsore, the steps, the Big Book, & fellowshiping with other recovering alcoholics, & here's a big one, working WITH others. Today, the more AA I do the more I get. And yes, it is a lifetime deal. AA is a society that I belong to, & that's a beautiful thing, I love it. But it took me a long time to get to where I'm at now.
Hang in there, do what's in front of you, do the next right thing, you'll be ok. I love alcoholics, especially ones in recovery. Learn more about yourself, you will llearn more about your HP
Good Luck, Sharon
Amen
Same here... 18 days sober. Just need to remember one day at a time... don't pick up. Be happy = sober. Be sad, angry, depressed = drinking.
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